SAN ANDREAS — Forget the hayrides and innocent pumpkin patches — Halloween in San Andreas isn’t for the faint of heart, the sober, or anyone who values peace and quiet. Starting Monday, October 27th at 2 PM EST, the state kicks off a five-day descent into sugar-high madness, monster cosplay, and absolutely no adult supervision.
And it all begins with one thing: trick-or-treating. That’s right — starting on the 27th, residents across the state will be hitting the streets in costume, pounding on doors, looting candy like it’s a post-apocalyptic resource, and probably committing light property damage along the way. It’s expected, it’s encouraged, and honestly, if you’re not dressed like a sexy werewolf by sundown, are you even trying?
But this year, it’s not just about cavities and chaos. We’re hearing whispers — spooky ones — that there might be an award for whoever can collect the most sugary loot by the end of the week. That’s right: an actual prize for the greediest little goblin in town. No word yet on who’s running the competition or what the prize is, but sources suggest it “ain’t just a king-sized Twerks.” So if you see someone elbowing toddlers out of the way for a packet of Skiiles, don’t judge — they might be playing to win.
The trick-or-treating spree is just the beginning. As the week spirals on, the chaos intensifies. Expect rooftop raves, ghostly gang wars, cursed corn mazes, and the occasional demonic possession. Vinewood elites are already planning themed parties with “blood cocktails” and live bats.
Meanwhile, in Blaine County, someone’s built a haunted house using actual condemned buildings — and we’re hearing strange things are starting to happen inside. Lights flickering. Temperatures dropping. Voices that don’t belong to the paid actors. It might be a performance… or something else. There’s talk of an experimental ghost hunt setup — still “in development,” whatever that means — but we’re told to stay tuned and “bring a flashlight.”
All of it builds toward the unholy climax on October 31st, when the city gives up pretending to be civilized. That’s when the weirdest, wildest, and most dangerously flammable costumes hit the streets, and people make decisions that will echo in therapy sessions for years to come.
So grab your mask, sharpen your fangs, and clear some room in your inventory for industrial-sized bags of candy. Whether you’re trick-or-treating for glory, summoning spirits, or just vibing in a haunted hot tub — Halloween in San Andreas isn’t just a holiday. It’s a full-blown, sugar-fueled survival event.
Weazel News
Dressed to kill. Possibly undead. Probably armed with candy corn.
