LOS SANTOS— If you’re one of the millions of San Andreas citizens who know to lock your doors at the mere mention of Lawrence Benjamin, congratulations — you’re more informed than at least one Field Training Officer at the Los Santos Police Department.
Officer Bennett, a so-called “veteran” FTO with reported tenure across multiple departments, recently had a public encounter with Vince Mincini — a man widely regarded as San Andreas’ most infamous civilian (and possibly its most patient one, depending on who you ask). In this exchange, Officer Bennett appeared blissfully unaware of who Lawrence Benjamin even was.
Yes, that Lawrence Benjamin — the name scrawled on every warrant board, whispered in every dark alley, and etched into the nightmares of half the state’s law enforcement. The one who’s been on the run longer than half the officers in the city have had their driver’s licenses.
If you’re wondering how an LSPD officer — especially an FTO entrusted to train the next generation — can draw a complete blank on the most wanted man in the state, you’re not alone. Frankly, we’re wondering whether LSPD is hiring FTOs from bingo halls or pulling names from a hat at this point.
The situation begs the question: What exactly is going on with LSPD’s Field Training Program? Who’s reviewing these training materials — and are they printed in invisible ink?
Officer Bennett’s lack of awareness isn’t just a minor footnote — it’s a red flag flapping in the hurricane of law enforcement malpractice. If your trainer doesn’t know the most dangerous man on the streets, what hope does your fresh-faced probationary officer have?
And speaking of probationary officers — let’s not forget the recent comedy of errors where two rookies actually pulled over Sergeant Chase Justice for allegedly speeding 87 mph… behind two 18-wheelers. Yes, you read that correctly. 87. MPH. Behind semi-trucks. In Los Santos. If there’s a vehicle in this state that can even hit that speed on a straightaway with two tons of diesel in front of it, we’d like to see it. (Spoiler alert: You won’t.)
Sergeant Chase Justice, known for his unwavering discipline, unmatched field knowledge, and a jawline that could probably slice through red tape, categorically denied the claim. Meanwhile, the probationaries likely went back to their FTO to debrief, who may or may not still be Googling “Lawrence Benjamin.”
The LSPD loves to slap “To Protect and Serve” on the side of their cruisers, but if Officer Bennett is an example of how the department protects us — by not knowing who they’re protecting us from — we might need to slap a warning label on those cruisers instead.
It’s almost impressive how much faith the department seems to place in these FTOs. If we gave this much blind trust to our baristas, we’d be sipping motor oil instead of macchiatos.
Maybe the solution isn’t more officers — maybe it’s just hiring the right ones. Someone like, oh I don’t know… Sergeant Chase Justice? A man with a name like a superhero and the investigative chops to match. If he had been running FTO operations, it’s doubtful Officer Bennett would be mistaking Lawrence Benjamin for a local sandwich artist.
Look, no one’s expecting FTOs to be clairvoyant. But they should at least know the basics — like who the most wanted man in the entire state is. It’s not rocket science. It’s policing. And if the people training the future of law enforcement are this uninformed, what kind of future are we driving into?
One thing’s for sure: if Officer Bennett’s knowledge of criminals is any indication, we’re all going to need thicker locks.
Chip Wiggletop, Weazel News.
If I vanish mysteriously, assume Officer Bennett mistook me for a traffic cone.
