SAN ANDREAS — A bomb threat at the Palmer-Taylor Power Station should have been handled with calm, calculated precision. Instead, witnesses say it looked more like a chaotic mash-up of Die Hard, Call of Duty, and Wipeout.
Earlier this morning, San Andreas Highway Patrol Master Trooper Mortensen received a phone call relaying a chilling warning: a man (later identified as Boris Yaroslav) claimed to have placed a bomb at the Palmer-Taylor facility. Mortensen responded to the scene and quickly confirmed the presence of an audible beeping device on the property.
At this point, a perimeter was established, dispatch was notified, and EOD was called in — precisely as the procedure dictates. At least that’s what you think would happen.
However, according to eyewitnesses, that’s where professionalism ended and the jungle gym began.
A security guard told Weazel News he watched in disbelief as law enforcement officers charged through the sprawling facility in erratic, disorganized sprints. Some reportedly jumped from a 10-foot or higher fuel tank, narrowly missing the suspicious device itself.
“It was like watching kids at recess,” the guard said. “Except instead of monkey bars, it was explosive barrels. We tried to assist them, but they just shooed us away.”
Another observer described officers running and gunning through the facility as though hoping the bomb would be too confused to detonate.
As the scene unfolded, the suspect allegedly opened fire on officers from afar, escaped by jet ski, then returned in a white helicopter for dramatic flyovers.
At one point, police air units chased the helicopter statewide while commanders tracked its transponder like a video game HUD. Officers even set up at air fueling stations, anticipating a pit stop.
The eventual takedown? A sniper shot the suspect in the head after the suspect allegedly landed the helicopter on an ambulance.
While EOD eventually defused one device at Palmer-Taylor, further threats were reported at the airport, where explosions occurred before EOD even arrived.
Sources say one EOD operator was tragically killed after a detonation, raising even more questions about why untrained officers were swarming active bomb sites as if rushing to “tag” the device first.
The central problem isn’t whether the devices were real — it’s whether law enforcement’s “run first, investigate later” approach is exacerbating the issue.
Proper bomb response is supposed to be calm, methodical, and handled by specialists. Instead, San Andreas residents witnessed what one social media user described as “LEO’s first-ever live performance of Cirque du Explosé.”
Bomb threats are no laughing matter — but the actions of law enforcement turned this into a spectacle. From climbing tanks over live explosives to chasing helicopters like Top Gun cosplayers, the line between public safety and reckless theater is starting to blur.
If San Andreas law enforcement wants to be taken seriously, maybe it’s time to trade in the jungle gym routines for actual investigation.
